Today was...interesting. in the less bit. i woke up to tanner suddenly realizing that he was late for his car appointment. dont you just hate that feeling?! waking up and not even have to look at the clock to know that your late for something? its like you internal instic kicks in all of a sudden and you just know that something is wrong the second you wake up. OH, and the feeling pulsing threw your vains when you wake up! it is like nothing else! what a wonderful...and strange miconism we have inside of us.
Anyhow! so tanner went to his car appointment (are A/C doesnt work. the main cause of death in st.george! ;).... or maybe just the main cause of tension and hatred) and now i was up from having a heart attack from my rude awakening. so i make my way down stairs, geta bowl of fruit loops and turn on the TV. of course NOTHING WAS ON at 8am. except for re-runs.
so i click on "teen mom" im pretty sure everyone on here know what that is, but just in case!, its about 10 or so girls who get pregnant at 16, still in high school and the second seasion of the show is called "teen mom" and it just fallows the first life of there child, and how everything is going for the new moms now.
so im watching this and it was the "adoption specail" about the 3 teens in all 5 seasions who picked adoption and went through with it. on the first session there was this girl on there names Katelyn and she and her boyfriend (also her step brother...weird i know) picked adoption for there daughter Carley(what a GREAT name btw) who is now 3 years old! the adoptive parents decided to do something very specail for kately and tyler, they let the camara's come into there house and video tape a regualar day with carley in there life.
IT WAS THE SWEETEST THING IVE EVER SEEN!!! her birth father was just BALLING, no under statement! then i noticed that i stoped eating...which is weird because i love my food, because i was seriously blubbering!!! just hysterical sobs! and i couldnt stop!
whats happen to me?! i was tough. i didnt let anyone see me cry, and i hardly ever did so! but here i am, crying my eyes out. like a child who fell off there bike and skid there knee. i'de blame pregnancy hormons, but im not pregnant. BUT, i do think that since i had Remmi, i am more senstive. not in the sense of " you hit me, it hurts, kiss it better. but in the way that i see things that are to good to be true and they touch me. my heart. and i dont know any other way to show these expressions, except to just cry. and cry.
so 15 minutes later, i pull my "big girl panties" back on, get a tissue, and calm down. it was such a strange feeling that i had to turn on, " the zodiac" and watched that from start to finish, just to feel less like a little girl.
On the bright side, i found a super cute dress at "Motherhood Maternity" that tanner said i can buy tomorrow, and the shoes my mom bought me in new mexico will look amazing with it! cant wait for sunday!
I love/hate days like these.
No comments:
Post a Comment