TYSON DANIEL FORBES= BIGGEST JERK ON THE FACE OF THE PLANT

World meet THEE biggest jerk face,Tyson Daniel Forbes. Tyson, go screw yourself.

You see this face??!?!!? This is the guy i dated all through highschool, up untill i met Tanner fall of senior year. Thank my lucky stars for that. Tyson was everything a girl could have wanted in a boyfriend. he spoiled me, bought my lunch almost everyday, always got my door, gave me complements all the time!! Just an all around good guy.

What a lie all of that actaully is. This is the most evil, muliputive, controlling, freak i will ever have had the pleassure to know. Doesn't this picture of him just scream "im a total douche bag, who things im sexy stuff and i could get any girl i want" ?!?!?! I'll answer this question for you, YES!!!! It does look like that. the sad thing is, he totally knows it too. He knows he is such a loser, and so pathrtic.

He so kindly last night Drunk text me. BIG MISTAKE bro. And ill tell you what, this fool right here, is going down. HARD. Im talking restaining orders, pressing charges of any kind of his Ugly Mug. He surely will regret the things he said to me, about me and about my family. I would LOVE to go into detail of all sorts, but that would take WAY to much of your time. Just know, he crossed the line. Big time. So for that all i have to say to him is "You screwed yourself her tyson, you did it to yourself." watch out world, im on a crazy high, and I will NOT go down without a fight.

Im not depressed

I feel like it sometimes, and i think that i should go see a therapist or something, so i could talk about my feelings, and get everything out that I think needs to be said. I think about the past a lot, especially when something doesn’t go right during my day. This is pretty often. I think about high school, if i would have put myself out there more, would i have had friends? Would i have been popular? I should have joined the track team. I’m a good runner; i had a 6 min. mile. (Of course not anymore) would i have gotten back together with Tyson... i hope not. Then i think, how would have my past year, if i had not gotten pregnant, turned out? How different i would be. What type of person i would have become?

I know that having a baby so young really affected the outcome of my life. i am slowly excepting that. But some days it feels harder than others. I wish i could just enroll in college, go to dorm parties, and hang out with my "friends" till all hours of the night. But i can’t. What makes these feelings hurt even more, is knowing that i took down Tanner with me. I took away the life he could have had. The mission he could have served. And that is the hardest thing to except.

i know tanner loves me, and cares about me, but sometimes i honestly worry that we won’t make it. It’s hard to say and even harder to type for the world to read (and by world i mean those 3 people) who knows if he would have wanted to marry me, because he WANTED to. Not because we were having a baby. I know that’s not why he married me, and I’m not accusing him of it at all. But i ask him questions all the time and i know i shouldn’t, but i do. And last night i got an answer i wasn’t expecting to hear at all.

 i asked him, " Tanner, if we wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, where do you think you would be right now?"

To this he replied, "honestly...probably with Phillip." to all of you who don’t know who Phillip is, its tanner best friends since he was... 9? They do EVERYTHING together. And there pretty much the same person. Phillip decided to take his first school year of college off and to go to Hawaii.

That was Tanners dream! To bum it on the beach. No joke. Well... not dream, but something he has always wanted to do. And i know i got that answer because i asked, but i did not want to hear THAT. Tanner knows that he wanted to go on a mission, he's mom drilled it into him ever since he was like 4 that when boys turn 19 they go on a mission, come home, go to college, THEN get married in the temple and have babies; hence why she hates me. But that’s a different story. But i single handedly took that dream away from him. I turned his world, and mine upside down.

We talk about getting sealed this year a lot. But sometimes, i know this sounds bad, i don’t think we should. It’s not that we're unworthy, because we don’t drink, smoke, nothing. We are worthy people now to go through the temple. (Well in October we will be) but that’s a BIG decision to make. I love Tanner. And I love Remmington, with all of my heart and soul I love them, but I don’t know if I can. You don’t need to comment on how terrible that is, because I already know. And it’s not that I have “commitment issues” Because I am married, and I love one man and one man and only,

but that is such a big step to make.

I wish i really did have friends. I don’t know who will read this, and I don’t mean to offend anyone. But, Amy, she moved away, to start her life and to experience new things. And I am genially happy for her.

 Katie, you stopped talking to me after I told you that I was pregnant. Best friends since 6^th grade, and I get the cold shoulder?  Right on.

Kiri, I love you to death girl, and you know it. We have gotten so close to each other but I feel like we’re in different spots in our lives each isn’t a bad thing, but I feel like we are just growing apart.

Karly, we go back to 10^th grade, on SCHS Dance Company.  You made it so fun girl, and yeah we hang out every so often, but we are just…so different, in all the best ways, it’s a shame we don’t hang out anymore.

Not to mention all the guy friends I had. Which I don’t anymoreJ which I’m fine with, by all means. But I seriously have no girlfriends. And all the girls who I knew in high school who got pregnant the same time I did are still in high school!! And aren’t married and live with their boyfriends, who are such pricks! And I do not connect with them at all.

Tanner is my best friend and I am his, but I need a girlfriend, there are still certain things I can’t talk about with Tanner that I could with a girl. And all the women in my “young married couple ward” are all at least 6 years older than Tanner and I. I just feel so alone and so disconnected with the world, and even my own family. I just feel like I do not belong. And it’s the worst feeling in the world.

I'm not depressed, but sometimes, i sure feel like it.

"Path"

"In order to choose the right path, we do not have to figure out the wrong one ~ we just need to follow the light."

Bathroom Talk

" In general, Pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes"

- Steven H. Coogler

Oh, how right you are Coogler man. For instence, PUBLIC RESTROOMS..... who got together with the Idiocy commity and just thought "Hey, lets make everyone in the world feel EXTREMLY awkward. Lets do Public Restrooms......No Jerry, let me finish, not just one mens room with one toliet and one womens with one toliet; lets just put a whole bunch of toliets in one room and indivdualive them with a tin wall." Seriously people. Not the smartst choice ive ever seen made.

While on one of many D.I. runs I go one with my hubby, I descovered that i do not like to use public restrooms. Everything is always wet, smelly, and I swear everytime i  choose the stall who was previously occupied by a person who APPARENTLY had Mexican food for lunch.

Some ideas arent the best. Ill just leave it at that.

I know all bathroom talk is frank – and probably pretty gross – but the fact of the matter is we all go to the bathroom and at some time in our lives we will all be forced to use a public bathroom.  Nothing is more annoying than people lacking proper etiquette in this shared space.

For men, you just walk in, whip it out and do "yo bid-nes" in the urinal. But, for ladies, this is a bit more of a production. For instence:

The Tortoise and the Hare – These people drive me INSANE.  These are the people that time their bathroom breaks like they are running a marathon.  They literally marathon pee – they pee in a minute tops.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  What is your hurry?  I guess I pee more like the Tortoise.  I take my time…slow and steady.  These people that come in and pee ridiculously fast actually give me anxiety.  I don’t want to have an panic attack, because i cant keep up, every time I go to the bathroom because you’re in some crazy race with yourself to be the quickest pee-er in the world.  Congratulations!  You peed in 49 seconds flat.  It’s a new Olympic record.

What is this world coming too I ask!?! Seriously people, take your time. enjoy it. Dont mess the up the Public bathroom just because YOU dont have to clean it up. Thats just not nice, its called a PUBLIC restroom for a reason.